i had a really horrible beautiful amazing dissapointing conversation yesterday. i left very upset and never wanting to have a conversation of that sort again. i left inspired so that women never have to have that conversation again. i left knowing that without conversations like that, progress and passion and truth would never be discussed or found.
i'm not a man. i actually refer to myself as a girl... little girl most of the time. i've found beauty in that i'm not a man. Nothing against men, i've just wanted to be one for my whole life and am finding that god made me a woman to be one. sounds wierd i know... but really it's been good for me.
But now, more than before now, people are telling me that being a woman isn't enough. I really actually need to physically be different so that i can do the same spiritual things. I need to have different body parts, i need to have much more testosterone and i need to be able to be able to pee standing up if i'm ever gonna be accepted in the "church" I can't agree with that. I can't.
The conversation i had was... well probably not a conversation but more of an argument. I hate that. I think in ike my first post i talked aboutmy passion. i had a lot of passion in that whole conversation/argument/ discussion. I also had alot of saddness that came out in the form of slurred words, rapid speech and many many tears. ( i also threw my jamba juice in the trash sorta like when a five year old had a tantrum that's was super dumb) I ended up crying the whole way home too. Not like "bah i'm a baby" kind of crying but more like "i can't breathe so good" crying.
it's easy to have conversations with people who believe in you and believe with you. Believe with you meaning that they're kinda where you are in life. Maybe uncertain... maybe less "boxy"... maybe ready for change. i'm not sure. i do know i love and appreciate both people that believe with me and those that believe contrary to what i believe. Right now that means those that maybe dont believe" in" me. Slowly i'm understanding that the beauty of community comes from the diversity of beliefs and color and theology along with judgement and betrayal and love and goodness. As i struggle to learn how to live in community i know one thing. Grace and love must rule for it to happen and my passions sometimes need to be settled down as well as unleashed.
9 comments:
well, I'm a believer "in" you, and I know you know that. and I'm going to be home all weekend for the big bro's wedding, and I want to give you a big hug and talk about this and so much more. k? k.
Gal. 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
I think that pretty much clears that up. Love you. Believe in you. Can't wait to see you. Thanks for loving Jesus. Thanks for being a friend. I'll hire you. Name the day.
It is a blessing to hear a little bit of your journey. It sounds like you are in a good place with balancing the tension with those who think differently than you. Thanks for the authenticity and encouragement.
Gal. 3:28 verse is often quoted out of its context... which is proven by the gentleman who has used it here.
christina...
i know you. and to know you is to love you.
you are one of the most amazing women i know. much more awe inspiring than most men i know.
you are strong, you are wise, you are "amazing"
"test everything, hold on to the good"
it may not mean much, but i support you. i got your back. as best as i can
Hey Christina
Be glad you're not a guy. It's ok. God 's got plan for Christina the lovely lady.:-D
Christina, you got more soul, passion, and frankly-- pardon my choice of words, but balls than most men I know. You bring it hard, and when I say hard I mean HARD.
Likewise with Brian and Peter, I got your back, I love you, and I sure as hell believe in you.
Keep it Christina. =D
The context of Gen 3:28 is in the context of that of all believers being one in the eyes of God- specifically in regards to salvation- and is found in a book dedicated to declaring war on legalism. Such as Peter's demand that all gentiles be circumcised. Seems to me that it's more in context than the often "out of context" quoted verses usually used to keep women out of places of influence.
Gal. 3:28 - you have labeled the context correct.
However, I interpreted your use wrongly I guess. Too often it is a verse that is used for women to assume a pastoral position in the Church.
From the 'context' of Miss Buchner's blog, I presupposed that is why you referenced it. Thanks for clarifying.
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