Monday, December 17, 2007

I've been waiting for almost five years for this and now it's here. I finally got accepted into a nursing program. One and a half actually. You see, I'm the third alternate for Santa Monica City college's program. I'm counting that as a half. I was however, full on accepted into Mount St. Mary's program. I'm torn though. St. Mary's starts mid January and Santa Monica starts mid February. Santa Monica could tell me the day before class starts if I'm in or not. By that time I could be a month into school at St. Mary's paying an arm and a leg and driving an extra 30-45 minutes each way. But... it's a for sure thing. Regardless, I will rejoice because I have waited and been patient, and now I will begin freaking school already. Merry Christmas my friends!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

free rice

kinda cool. makes me feel real dumb though.

free rice!

Monday, October 15, 2007


Today I was reminded of how short I really do fall.

I was driving through a parking structure here in Santa Monica and a well dressed foreign man with a slight accent stopped me. Highly apologetic he asked for some money while holding car keys and looking rather lost. He said something about "not enough gas" "I'm stuck" "can you help?" Of course I could help I said. I smiled as I reached into my wallet and gave the man the four dollars I had left in my wallet. I was all I had but I figured it could get him out of the parking structure and to a gas station. Either way, it was all I had. He asked if I was sure and thanked me deeply with a smile. As I drove away happy I've been of help to someone in need, I remember the woman I walked by this morning. She was leaning against a newspaper vending machine with a Starbucks cup in hand and a dirty wrinkled cardboard sign. She wasn't as well dressed as my foreign parking structure friend nor did she smell as good. As I walked by she kinda wiggled her cup at me and I smiled back at her. I didn't give her anything but a good morning smile. Now here's the problem. Why was I generous to a man who's more nicely dressed and asks more politely, and probably has a bunch of money? Why couldn't I have give the four dollars to the woman this morning? Why is it that even when I do give money away it's not in increments of four dollars but maybe one or some spare change? Why don't I always give everything I have instead of only giving away enough to not feel the effects of the sacrifice?

I'm bothered that when I start to think I'm generous, I'm reminded of how short I fall and how insignificant even those four dollars are in the grand scheme. I'm bothered that I have way too much crap that isn't getting used. I'm bothered that I let myself believe that this life is supposed to be comfortable and painless. I'm bothered. I'm bothered that I rarely feel the pain of sacrifice. This week, I'll make sure that I do.

Monday, July 16, 2007


we're here.
we finally made it to the island and are totally loving it.
some highlights...
we're staying in this hotel that overlooks a beautiful canal. we've been walking around all day in the hot hot heat sweating like crazy only to be cooled by the intense winds coming from every direction. This is probably the windiest (?) island ever. we ate dinner last night at a place called hooks hut that sits right on the beach. We got to put our feet in the water before dinner and after dinner went to an outdoor club on the beach. it was incredible. today we shopped around for a bathing suit. who forgets a bathing suit when going to a beautiful island? I do. we headed over to the curacao distillery today too... got to taste me some liquor...delish.

aisea's chillin upstairs in the room while my bro and i are looking for somewhere to eat dinner.
tomorrow we're moving to the marriott, the nicest hotel on the island. We'll have our own private beach, snorkling right outside our door and some good ol' AC.

until then... or until i get to another internet cafe.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


i watched the movie "the fountain" with a couple of friends last week and there's a quote from it that i can't quite get out of my head. the movie deals with this guy seeing death as a disease you can cure and goes around trying to fix death and possibly find the fountain of youth in the process. there's a part where the queen is being threatened by an enemy and while trying to encourage her soldier says this (or something close to this cause i can't find the exact quote.)

"the deepest darkest shadows are always threatened by the morning light."

the movie is confusing and maybe a little too intense for me but this quote hit home. I sometimes find it hard to be hopeful in a hopeless world. A world that has maybe forgotten what hope looks like. I guess i just wish to be a part of that morning light bringing hope to a dark yucky nasty world. Sometimes it feels like the darkness is overpowering and might be too much to handle but i know that the beauty in the dark will never be seen if the light never shines.

that's all.. just an awesome quote in a crazy movie that has changed the way i think and the way i see jesus.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

my week.

got my wisdom teeth taken out.
looked like a chipmunk for a week.
forgot what happened this week cause i was drugged up.
hung out a bit with he cobalt season.
got taken care of like a queen by a big strong tongan man.

it was a good week.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

goats pigs and fishing lures

My birthday was this last month.

I hear that when you get old you stop celebrating your birthDAY and start celebrating the whole month long. I like this idea and since 24 is older than I've ever been, I decided this would be my first birthMONTH.

The celebration started on one of the best days I've had while I've been here in Santa Monica. Aisea and I headed to the beach for smores, football and a bon fire with our high school kids. A fabulous time. On our way home Aisea told me we had to hurry. We arrived home to some of my closest friends waiting to give me my birthmonth present. I opened three different envelopes each holding something more meaningful than could ever truely fit in an envelope. The first was a goat, the second a pig and the last was a fishing kit. Each of them were given through World Vision from my friends to a family in another country. As soon as I had realized what they all were, I began crying.

You have to understand something. For the last four years during Christmas or my birthday people ask me what i want. This isn't uncommon because you usually get presents on the day you were born.... or the day (not really) Jesus was born. Well, for the last four year i've been asking for a goat or a pig or a fishing kit or SOMETHING through world vision for a family and not myself. To finally have people in my life who understand that about me and know what's really important to me was incredible. i wept as soon as i realized because i never knew when i would get a gift like that.

anyways. it's good to be heard and hopefully i can do a good of a job at listening to my friends as they did for me. thanks family.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


i'm back
it's been a good break but i'm back.