brakes.

my brakes squeek in my car. it's a high pitched sorta thing. real faint with the windows up. doesn't exist when you have the radio on. I shoud probaby fix it... but i'm broke. that was kinda like a sidenote i guess. My life is comming to a halt. Everything is winding down. School is over as of thursday. Wednesday night was my last teaching night. joel, the new guy comes in on ... i think today. so the two things that have dominated my life recently are now over. I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I have much to struggle with and discover. Much to read and appreciate. People to be with and converse with. I'm still learning this art of conversation. my passion runs deep and when it cuts to my heart is when i get mself in trouble.
i was in the car, the squeeky brake car, with an old friend on sunday. She made a remark about how being a lesbian is "ewww sick!" I asked why she said that. She said cause homosexuality is a sin and it's sick. i got a bit defensive. She said "So what's the deal? are you into gays now?" i replied yeah. i respect the desision they've made. I desire to honor and accept them not as "sick" but as people. Yeah i'm "into" them if it means that i love them. I started preaching to her about how the mindset she has is why gay people dont feel welcome at church. I told her about the damage we've done to people who have made a desicison that's not something that the general christian community would choose. She said i was preaching to the choir but i'm not convinced the choir understands. I'm not even convinced that i fully understand. i dont even know where to start. so many thoughts that happened in the midst of our conversation that i would have to take a day to write out, so i wont. i'll just ask that for one day i would love blindly. That for one day you would challenge yourself to not see any color or prejudice or stereotype. I'm becoming more convinced that love has huge risks that people are scared of. My life is coming to a halt so i think i'll find a new job description. Maybe i'll just love people. yeah i like that