peace...none of which i have

it is amazing how many things i can do in a day. I mean, in theory i only need to write a message for wednesday... yes this wednesday... and i've found so many alternative things to do. I"m just so bsy now i have no time to write a message. I mean before i had to write this message my room was clean enough, my nails looked fine, i didn't need to read six books or even watch three different movies. Before i had to write this message life was just chugging along, but now well geez there's people to see and call and be with, there's TV shows to watch and laundry to do and floors to sweep. Before this message everything else was just fine. Now nothing is goo enough and i'll do anything to avoid what i really need (and honestly want) to do. Why? why do i do this to myself. It doesn't make me feel any better. I hate that i put it off. Maybe if God just spoke louder and told me everything he wanted me to say. Yeah, that would make this much easier. But instead if sitting in silence waiting and listening, i sit in my big comfy chair with music blaring, dishes washing in the background ( i even made dinner so i could procrastinate a little more, a miracle i tell you a miracle) my mom watching my big fat greek wedding in the other room (i swear it's calling my name) and food waiting to be eaten in the kitchen. So many distractions and i wonder why i can't hear God. More than a blog, this is my confessional. I'm procrastinating. I'm totally wasting time hoping that at the end of the day i have enough to finish a message. weak sauce. Here i go, i'll try to start working on it again. I'm so sorry if this sounds horrible and like a chore, it's not it's a joy... it's just harder this time. dunno why. here i go...
any thoughts on peace?